Monday, May 30, 2011- A Boundaries and Waters Weekend!

It was Jason's first full weekend together as a family over Memorial Day Weekend.  First, thank you all who have directly served in our branches of the military or have family members who have or are serving our country in this way.

Our Blog Post title may give the impression we canoed and camped this weekend...well, we didn't.  The title really reflects, in part, boundaries in the sense of helping Jason to establish new and healthy ones in our family.  Not that he didn't have healthy ones before but they were totally different because he lived in an orphanage and without a family.  He lived according to orphanage rules and expectations as well as using his own innate abilities to survive emotionally and mentally. 

He now lives with a family who'll be his family forever...he's in that uphill climb of trusting that we won't abandon him no matter what.  It's legal and now and becoming real for Jason as well as us collectively as family.  After a successful and much enjoyed week of school, this weekend we continued communicating and establishing boundaries in the smallest of ways as to convey to Jason he's safe, loved and belongs.  

The other part or theme of the weekend, on a lighter note, was "water."

Along with the picture above, Lucas and Jason really enjoyed the rain after school Friday. It was a blessing to let them fully clothed go run and play in the rain and no holding back.  They laughed and enjoyed each other and the freedom to get completely soaked...with parents smiling the entire time.

Saturday morning we all headed up north to the cabin to spend the day with Grandma Jan as well as some aunts, uncles and cousins.  The boys helped a bit in picking up sticks while older cousins and adults did leaves and put the dock and pontoon in.  Beautiful day of sun and 70 degree weather.  The water was a little cool but no worries...Jason and Lucas were swimming, fishing with cousin Alex and paddle boating,

They also rode bikes and generally hung out in the water most of the day with the exception of a couple great meals.

Monday was Water Park of America...more water!  Yay!!  the day looked gloomy at first with a threat of rain.  Since Jeanne and Jason never made the hydropark in Kyiv, so why not here.  What a great time! Everyone's first time in fact.  From slides, lazy rivers, body tubes and kickboard "surfing" as well as general water park fun.  A good way to spend the day...bonding and creating further attachment, a critical need for adopted orphan children.  We are blessed of the Lord for His wisdom and resources.  We were blessed also to have a weekend of great attachment opportunities with "boundaries and waters."

Thursday, May 26, 2011: Navigating through Transition

Hoping there is always such enthusiasm for school! Getting dressed, fed and out the door (way earlier than necessary) with no prodding from Mom........that's when we say "right here, right now, enjoy this moment"!

There is always temptation, or maybe it's hope, to wish a honeymoon period would last forever. Reality usually says, that's just not possible. The best thing to do, then, is enjoy the honeymoon as long as possible. The tranisition for all of us - and those around us - is in full swing. Everyone is getting used to the real and the new.

As parents, we have been educated and trained to be watchful (as in observant), prayerful (as in our own D.E.A.P.* strategy)  and thoughtful (as in 'stop and think'). New groups and teams go through four stages of development: the forming stage, the storming stage, the norming stage, the performing stage. These phases are crucial for successful teams and we believe successful families. In our newly joined (or formed) family, we guess that we won't see the new normal (or norming stage) for about six months - maybe longer.

Of course, the one most effected by the tranisition is Jason. The most vocal is Lucas. The most attentive is Jeanne. The most sturdy is Dave.

The one that has the most the gain also had to lose the most. Jason left his homeland, is changing his language, adapting to new classmates, adjusting to new culture, adopting to new rules and expectations and discovering a family kind of love.

During this honeymoon period, we are both enjoying the new dimension in our family experience as well as listening, observing and praying. Based our research of numerous resources, we've been preparing since last year for this time in our family. We know that the skills and strategies can be and even need to be very different for parenting a child from birth than parenting an orphaned child. The goals are the same but the methods for getting there are different. We have to adjust our parenting to best meet the needs of the child. We prepare for the worst and pray for the best!

In some cases, others may be critical of our parenting approach or even reject our decisions. Ones that supported us before may now be unsupportive. We may even not look like we know what we're doing!

While we enjoy the remaining time of the honeymoon period, we also celebrate. The journey has been outstanding in so many ways. We bless the people that made it happen - especially those that prayed. We exalt the Lord that saw fit to give us His dream.

*D.E.A.P. Drop Everthing And Pray.

Saturday, May 21, 2011...The Eagle has Landed!

Brotherly love...the real thing!

Oh happy day...oh happy day ah ay...when Jesus walked...yeah when He walk-a-alked...He took my cares away.  That song was in my spirit again all day Saturday.  Praise the Lord...Jeanne and Jason arrived a little early Saturday at 6:16 pm at MSP after a 24 hour door-to-door trip...whew!  

It was a happy, joyous and much anticipated reuniting of the Ritzman family--the Ukraine side and the U.S. side...and the two shall become one!  There was a lot of hugs, kisses and tears of incredible joy along with exchanges of gifts.  Check out Lucas's fedora given to him by Jason.

It was really a gift from God for the Boehrs and the Ritzmans to share the last leg of the adoption journey, travel the same flights back together and that the boys--Jason and Nathan were close friends in the orphanage and are now close friends as U.S. citizens in the Twin Cities. I believe the families will get closer too.  God is good!

Jason was greeted by every immediate family member via a hanging decorative banner with colorful balloons attached (thanks for helping Uncle Joel!).  Every grandparent, aunt, uncle and 14 cousins + Sadie (his dog) from the Twin Cities to Sioux Falls to Mississippi to Seoul, Korea expressed their heart-felt love and warm welcome to the family.

More decorations...cards...flowers inside and oh yeah...chocolate cake!!!

...and a huge chocolate chip cookie...nice!  Thanks Aunt Julie!

...and this is what it's all about...brothers playing with Lucas's gift from Jason...Bionicles...they picked up immediately where they left off three weeks ago.  We now transition to new life as a family forever.

Praise God for all He's done and all He will do!

Friday, May 20, 2011

At this writing (10:07 PM...6:07 AM Sat-Kyiv), Jeanne and Jason as well as Bruce Boehrs and Nathan are one hour in their flight (arriving Sat, 6:29 @ MSP).  Jeanne should be writing this but a full Friday and a need to pack and sleep by 9:00 only to awake at 2:30 am to get ready and have Sergei drive to KBP airport at 3:00 AM to be 2 hours early for a 5:30 AM flight understandably put a damper on the blog writing.  I'll do my best based on the brief Skype recap of the day and what I know from experience. Jeanne can detail later.

If I got it right...Jeanne said, "there was incredible joy in a place of mourning," as describing their last day in Kyiv (at least for a good while). Saying goodbye to close friends or family you won't see'til the next holiday or vacation has brought my nieces and nephews to tears over the years and yet they were esctatic to be with one another for awhile and anticipating the next time.

I can't imagine the feelings Jeanne and especially, Jason (Sasha) felt looking forward to the next chapter in life with great joy yet saying goodbye to friends, children and staff at the orphanage whose hearts are knitted with ours over the past couple months and years for Sasha.  Fortunately, his closest friend Ilya, now Nathan, and his father Bruce are on the same flights returning home and friendship continues in a new land with their forever families.

It was a day of "lasts" that brought a dichotomy of joy and mourning in the very same experience for Jeanne and Sasha...Last walk to and from Maidan, last subway ride, last bus ride, last visit to school, last visit to orphange, last conversations, last laughs, last tears shared, etc. 

Children gathered, children set alone, children celebrated, children cried, children hoped.
It was an awesome day according to Jeanne...just one full of joy and mourning experienced within each child and adult in the same celebration and goodbye.

Sergei drove Jeanne and Bruce to the "big" market where four traditional Kyiv cakes the children love and chocolate eauclairs were purchased for the party.  The women at the orphanage kitchen prepared everything and chai with love and care as they always do.  Tables were set for everyone...children, staff, teachers, counselors and five MN families (Ritzmans, Boehrs, Moores, Dilners and Landrys).

It was a party...a celebration and a mourning of relationships changing all at the same time. Everyone talked and laughed and embraced. Nathan, coming home with Sasha and not extroverted by nature, stood up at one point saying, I hope all the kids here find famillies. Amen, we pray they all do for they are good children.

Below are few pictures from the awesome day and celebration at the Children of Cradles Hope Orphanage.

Girl on left (Natasha) and girl on right (Anjelica) both need a forever family.

Boy along wall in red (Andrej) and boy on left sitting in Blue & White (Shani) both need a family.

Spending 5 weeks and Jeanne even longer with the children mentioned, I know these children and know they would not only be hugely blessed to find a forever family but they would be a blessing to that family.  Let God speak to your heart.

Tommorrow, we welcome Jeanne and Jason Shasha Ritzman home!  Lucas and I are excited!

Thursday, May 19th, 2011

Every morning as the sun rises gently in the sky and the cool Spring breeze welcomes a new day; a query from a young man floats from the recesses of a quiet apartment somewhere in Kiev:
                "Mom, what day we go America?"

This morning the mother of the boy was genuinely pleased to say: "The day after tomorrow."

This afternoon the second appointment at the U.S Embassy produced the Visa! It was a glorious time. The staff declared the documents to be in order. The interview lasted about 3 minutes. The Visa computer worked (a 24 hour wait if it had not) and all toll we were there about an hour.

We got to go with the Boehrs' and we played Uno (according to orphanage rules) while we sat in the waiting room between the interview processing. Mom dutifully lost both games of Uno much to the joy and jousting of Jason and Nathan.

When the visa was presented in his passport he hooted and hollered!

The other continuous question is: "When we go to orphanage?" The good-byes at Children's Cradle of Hope are scheduled for tomorrow.  And the transition continues.



The newest legalized immigrants to the U.S.

It was our final appointment in the process of adopting Jason Sasha Ritzman. We celebrated at a cafe with sweets and tea before catching the trolley for home.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Had big plans to start this blog with a picture of the U.S. Embassy Consulate for Foreign Affairs Office (because that is where we started the day) but security stepped in and stopped us.  We had 2 pics on the camera already but Jason obediently deleted the photos when security hollered at us.

Even with (or maybe because of) the strict and stern security inside and outside the building - the feeling of being in American territory was overwhelming. Safe, protected, welcome. The first appointment where an interpreter or interpretation was not required.

The U.S. State Department in Ukraine requires two appointments in order to issue an immigrant visa to an adopted children. This first appointment accomplished two things: 1) Examined the portolio to ensure that every necessary document was translated, copied and prepared. 2) Received payment for services being rendered. The staff was very helpful in getting us prepared for tomorrow's appointment (the long one with an interview) as they guided on how to fill out certain applications, which documents to get copied and which don't need to come back.

The afternoon was taken with the medical exam necessary for tomorrow's appointment. Both Jason and Nathan had individual examinations with the U.S. State Department approved Dr. Uriy. The process took most of the afternoon by the time we took the subway to meet Sergei, drove to the clinic and went through the process from room to room. On the way home, Sergei found a place for us to make copies mentioned earlier.

Big day. Big accomplishments. Another step closer to home. Thank you, Lord.


Psalm 130:5-  I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I do hope.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Day of Tours:

• Skype Tour
• Deli Tour
• Kiev Tour
• Tour of Duty

Skype Tour. A daily highlight for the family bonding is for the Ukraine Ritzmans is to get to skype with the U.S. Ritzmans each day at 4:00p Kiev time (8:00a Central). We look forward to the big Skype. Today, Lucas gave Jason a tour of the house while dad 'drove' the laptop from room to room. Jason kept saying "Where my room?" and when he saw it he was pretty thrilled it had been painted from white to khaki - thank your Grandma Jan!!

Deli Tour. Our first visit to the Ukrainian deli was hosted by Bruce and we all liked the real Ukrainian food and atmosphere. Jason and Nathan were in food heaven sampling the traditional dishes.

Kiev Tour. Since Paul and Karla experienced the city with a tour guide over the weekend, they took us to some sights we have seen and sights we haven't seen and gave us insight on both. We got a lot of walking in and the boys played photographers the whole way.

Tour of duty. We got what we have been waiting & praying for; and need for the U.S. Embassy tomorrow:

And, inside, the stamp that was labored for on Friday last.

The one that proudly showed the gem to his new brother over skype today.

Thank you, God!